An Experiment

Yesterday Steve and I went out to lunch at one of our local chicken joints. As so often happens, the waitress only talks to me and does not make eye contact with Steve while he orders. He is use to this, but it still hurts him. I said that the next time we go out to eat, I will pretend I am deaf also and then we will see how the waitress handles two deaf people. I will only sign and not talk. Then Steve will have to interpret what I say, in other words, give him the advantage for once.

I think that one of the problems, if not the main problem, with people forgetting that Steve is deaf, is the fact that he talks quite well. He talks like he can hear, so why would they not talk to him like he can hear. This seems to be a common complaint among the Deaf when people think that deaf children should be taught how to talk.

Today in Church I want to try this experiment. Everyone knows I can hear so they might think I’m just being silly. I take a notepad and pen, and the cute little contact cards we made up and head off to face the hearing masses. In Relief Society, I give a card to the RS president and one to the wife of the First Counselor in the Bishopric. I explain how the deaf relay messaging system works. You leave a message and the operator will type exactly what you say, and I mean exactly! If you say “um”, they will type “um”. If you laugh, they will type “ha ha”. The RS president says she is going to have some fun with Steve while he is in WA.

In our Gospel Doctrine class, only our former bishop’s wife asks me if Steve is coming, because there is one chair between us and she wants to make sure she has a place for her husband. I tell her he will be coming to Sacrament Meeting only. She says, “It’s hard for him to understand anyway, and you have to translate everything.” My heart was humbled. She understands!

At the beginning of the Gospel Doctrine lesson, the teacher passes out copies of the Primary song “The Wise Man and the Foolish Man“. The children sing and sign this song. I did not grow up in the Church, so am unfamiliar with this custom. I watch with a few chuckles as the adults sign this children’s song, and think, “Rats! Steve should see this.”

After Gospel Doctrine, I head off to Sacrament Meeting. Steve has saved me a spot in the back of the cultural hall. When he sees me, he signs “You hear for me” in the same way Earl signed it during last Thursday’s episode (which Steve thought was funny). Our Elder’s Quorum president comes over to shake our hands and we give him one of our cards. I am pretending to be deaf, so I do not talk, but of course I hear him when he says that he is a changed man after reading the things I sent him. Again, I am grateful for someone who is trying to understand.

Steve and I give our home teacher one of our cards. After telling him that Steve will be in WA on Tuesday, he emails Steve for an appointment to visit us this afternoon. We visit with him and his wife, and it is so much fun. I love to watch Steve conversing with someone who is as down to earth and funny as he is. What I like most is that he wants to know Steve better and learn how to communicate with him directly. I want to give him a big hug. It is a gift to Steve, and there is no better gift anyone can give me at this point in my life.

Maybe I don’t have to pretend I am deaf. Maybe I can simply encourage people to communicate with him directly.