…since I’ve written anything in this blog. Why? Because the people it is intended for (my family) were not reading it. They are all on Facebook! So I have moved my educational efforts there. I browsed through this blog to refresh my memory about what I have written in the past, and realized I need to update a few things.
First of all, Steve no longer uses his cochlear implant. It turned out to be more of a hassle than it was worth. From what I’ve read, it appears many deaf adults come to this decision eventually, especially now that video phones and VRS are available.
Our decision to become more involved in the Deaf Community has been the BEST decision we ever made for each other. We still live too far away from our Deaf church to be able to attend regularly and that is a bit disappointing, but with the video phone Steve communicates regularly with Deaf and hearing friends. We also use Facebook, of course!
I continue to learn ASL by watching whatever videos I can understand. Most of the time, you ASL users are too fast for my old eyes. But if I watch closely several times, I eventually understand. And once I understand, I prefer ASL over reading English. It’s only by learning and doing that we begin to appreciate the real strength and beauty of Sign Language. Everyone should learn it.
There are folks who are making some real efforts to help us all understand each other a little better. www.DeafTV.com and www.signworldtv.com are two that I am aware of. I am looking forward to more videos from them.
Filed under: Cochlear Implants, Sign Language
I just found this blog a couple days ago and have been enjoying it thoroughly. Its like a book I don’t want to put down. I’m only on year 2007 of your entries, but looking forward to more. Seems like a great journey.
Thanks.
My husband started wearing hearing aides about 2-3 years after we married.
A year ago last Jan.2009, we were told he was a candidate for a cochlear implant, hearing aides were of no use to him anymore.I cried, it was just too much to handle. For 35 years we had talked and shared everything. Many nights we lay in bed, talking until we fell asleep.
I wanted to learn sign language, he didn’t, he wanted the cochlear implant. It took a year for everything to come together so he could have 2 cochlear implants.
A week ago , he had a CI placed in each ear. Before the surgery I found nothing but positive input about the CI’s, after the surgery I found every negative comment there is on the web.
He will be so disappointed if it doesn’t work. I encouraged him to do this, he trusted me….
I am going to learn sign language, everyone should.
Wanda,
How is your husband’s implant? Is it working?
i was wondering how did u make the relationship work, was ur husband born deaf. im currently talking to a deaf guy i love him and i do know ASL but not as fluent as i want too. im trying to get into school because i do want to be an interpreter ,but i came across this website to see if they’re some deaf/hearing relationship and what advice could u give me.
Dear Bina,
Steve was not born deaf. He became totally deaf at age 7 because of illness. He was educated in a mainstream school until he entered junior high where he transferred to a school for the deaf. This school taught total communication where the students learned to talk and sign at the same time. So he does not use ASL. He talks and signs English.
After ten years of marriage, we have settled into a comfortable relationship where he does all of the talking.. It’s possible that this is what makes our relationship so great…lol. I sign to him when I have something simple to communicate. If we need to have a lengthy conversation, we email each other. We each have a computer. It’s an unconventional way of communicating for a married couple under the same roof, but you do what you have to do to communicate your thoughts, if they are important enough.
My advice would be to find the communication method that works best for you and your mate. And then include love, respect, patience, and a good sense of humor. This is what works for us.
Good for you in working to become an interpreter. You will never be out of work.
Julia
thank u for that great advice.. I will keep u posted!
I just bookmarked your blog. I’ve been in a relationshiop with a beautiful deaf woman about half my age for about ten years, living with each other for four and a half.
I guess I just was inspired to look for a site like yours because she just quit school and moved out… I’m incredibly hurt inside right now, and i believe she’s doing the wrong thing..as does her dad…I love her so much, even though she frustrates me. Don’t get me wrong..maybe I’m just looking from my point of view, but I have worked in psychiatry for years … I’m trying to say my perception of myself is that I believe I always try to consider her POV..more and more as the years have gone by… I’ve invested so much that her leaving has really just broken my heart. She says she’s made up her mind, but jsut a few days ago..right after she left she sounded like she wanted to make up and see a conselor..either together or by herself. She was on the way to getting a degree..maybe she’ll continue in the city she went to, but her dad and i believe her ‘friends’ there, while well meaning..are just codependent, telling her what she wants to hear… sorry about my venting here… just looking for some resonance, some compassion, some empathy from someone who , perhaps, has experienced similar problems. I’ve never been married, I’m 60 years old although it’s hard for me to believe I’m that old….but I love her so much, I was beginiing to think, finally, maybe this could work. This is the longest relationship I’ve been in. Thanks for anything.